For frequent hosts, the question “What can I bring?” may seem daunting, but it doesn’t have to be. Attention to detail can always improve a party, but allowing guests to contribute to the event makes everyone feel they had a hand in it, with the added bonus that it takes at least a little stress off the host.

According to etiquette expert April Setliff of Red Stick Refinement, when answered correctly, the question “What can I bring?” serves to elevate the overall experience for you and your guests.

“I know some hosts feel that to be the ‘hostess with the mostess,’ they need to tell their guest not to worry about anything, and so the host takes on everything,” Setliff says. “But I feel like these days, this perspective is changing, because guests feel better when they contribute.”

After all, the top goal of a good host is to make sure your guests feel as comfortable as possible. “A great and easy tool in doing this is to take them up on the offer of bringing something,” she says.

Setliff explains that this accomplishes two things: it reduces the stress on the host to get everything on the checklist done, and it makes guests feel fulfilled by contributing.

“Before you start sending out RSVPs, come up with a list of things you need for your party, knowing that people may turn around and ask, ‘What can I bring?'” she says. “That way you have a decisive answer that puts both you, the host, and your guests’ minds at ease.”

Learn more about the art of Southern hospitality in this story with Setliff from the inRegister archives.